Valentine's day is a great day for those of us in recovery to remember those around us. Have you shown your love to someone today? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the romance of Valentine's day, we simply forget the human desire to be loved. You don't have to be in a relationship to share your love today. Help someone today!   ... Read More →

It is generally not a good idea to enter into a dating relationship if you've just started your recovery. . . but knowing how to handle a breakup in recovery is a good thing to know too. The reality is that at some point you will probably start dating someone in recovery and knowing how handle a breakup without triggering a relapse is important. Why are Breakups Harder in Recovery? Breakups might seem harder in recovery because those of us in recovery want to latch on to someone and not let go of the emotional attachment. Often we want to let ... Read More →

Focus on Fixing Your Life, Not on Finding Love People with a healthy view of relationships are not obsessed with finding love. When you’re spending all your time looking for someone to date, you aren’t spending the necessary time working on your own life to become a better person to date. Maintaining a healthy relationship requires working to improve your own character, not obsessing to find someone who can make you feel better about yourself. Healthy emotional skills are needed to develop successful relationships. But for those of us in recovery, these skills can be ... Read More →

The family at Duffy’s would like to wish you and your loved ones a very happy Chinese New Year! This year’s animal is the year of the snake. If you will turning 12, 24, 48, 60, 72 (or any multiple of 12!) then this is your year! Background The date of Chinese New Year is based on the lunisolar calendar and lasts 15 days. (Think Christmas that lasts 15 days!) It is the biggest holiday of the year, and family and friends gather from across the country to feast on traditional Chinese New Year food, reunite with family, visit friends, give gifts, and set ... Read More →

Even though many of us in recovery are lonely, jumping into a dating relationship isn't always the wisest idea. Dating in recovery can actually easily trigger a relapse--or a new addiction: to relationships. Because It's easy for relationships to become just as addictive as substance abuse, it is not uncommon for those just starting out in recovery to end up in addictive relationships. How Do Addictive Relationships Work? Addictive relationships often start with immediate and intense gratification. Then, in an effort to control circumstances to maintain that high level of gratification, you becomes obsessed, resorting to manipulation and ... Read More →

It doesn’t matter where you live; New Year’s is the wettest day of the year as people across the nation celebrate by breaking out the booze. During a time where everyone is drinking, it may seem like those in recovery are the only ones not swimming in party hats, sparklers, and empty beer bottles--and makes us wonder if it’s even possible to stay sober and enjoy yourself during a New Year’s party. The answer is a loud, challenging, yes. It is possible to stay clean, dry and sober on New Year's ... Read More →

Question: What should I do if I relapse during the holidays? The holidays can be one of the most difficult times for those of us in recovery. We're getting invited to employee Christmas parties and other family and friend events where drinking is expected. And sometimes we relapse almost accidentally, maybe because we just want to fit in with those around. So what can you do if you relapse? Is your entire recovery ruined? The good news is that a relapse doesn't need to derail your journey. Instead, talk about it! Go to a meeting, call your sponsor, ... Read More →

Question: How do I refuse a Christmas invitation without offending someone? How do I tell people I can’t drink?  This is one of the most commonly asked questions during the holiday season. And no wonder: refusing Christmas invitations never occurs without a layer of awkardness.  Ask for advice. The first thing to do is to ask your sponsor or A.A. group what has worked for them. It may be as simple as, “No thank you. I’m not drinking tonight.” or  “Mom, I appreciate your help and input, but ... Read More →

So you have lots of Christmas parties you're supposed to attend--like your work Christmas party--and you're dreading them because you're in recovery, attempting to live a life of sobriety. How are you going to be able to stay sober at a Christmas party?  Question: Should you avoid or skip your employee Christmas party if you're in recovery?  We recently asked Gayle, our counselor at Duffy's, what advice she would give. She said you don't necessarily need to skip your Christmas party, but here are a few things you should consider when making ... Read More →

It's the holidays--Christmas and New Year's--some of the hardest times of the year to stay sober--especially at a party. And chances are, every December, you get invited to multiple Christmas or New Year's events. Is it actually possible to hang out with your friends and not drink? If you're in recovery (or just don't want to drink), consider some of these helpful tips for staying sober at a party. (By the way, these tips aren't time sensitive--you don't have to use them just during the holidays; they'll actually work any time ... Read More →