As you challenge yourself to stay sober, I write to you as a fellow addict. I am hoping to bring solace and a bit of comfort to your day.
Of course, we do not know one another, yet we truly are kindred spirits.
Our journeys are likely different in content and likely similar in disquietude.
I recall reaching a fork in the road where I needed to choose between the road that was difficult and unhealthy, or the road that was difficult, yet healthy.
Initially, I choose the unhealthy pathway. Recovery seemed too insurmountable and facing my many woes was just scary and painful. After all, being ‘high’ certainly was numbing.
The catalyst came when I hit a personal bottom… my young son wanted nothing to do with his dysfunctional mom and my husband filed for a divorce. We each will reach a point where we conclude that being anesthetized is truly destroying too many aspects of our lives.
Of course, that leads us to the alternative—sobriety. I hated that word at that time. I wanted to use and not have repercussions. I soon had to accept that the two would never go hand in hand.
And acceptance is really the key.
I accept each day;
- Abuse of substances hurts me and my loved ones.
- My health, physically and emotionally, deteriorates when I have chosen to abuse.
- My ability to function slips away when I have been drunk or high.
- Jail and institutions could likely be my future if I continue with these behaviors.
- There is an alternative to self-medicating my pain.
I accepted that sobriety wasn’t the demon, addiction was. So, I took a deep breath, held my nose and jumped off the high dive.
Getting sober was no picnic, yet neither was addiction. The one difference is that the outcomes are vastly incompatible.
Dear One, as you go forward in your search for well-being, please know that there is peace at the end of the unencumbered road.
Author: Katie H. is a writer, recovering addict, and mother based in Connecticut.